How to tell your FTSE from your Ponzi

In the world of personal finance there are a great number of financial terms which get bandied about alot, however many of these can be difficult for anyone who does not have something higher than a Masters degree in Economics to understand. To help out I have decided to try to demystify some of the regular phrases with this handy little cheat list. And here at Cashzilla we are always happy to receive any additional definitions that any of you out there may want to provide to make the finance jungle just that bit more understandable.

Hedge fund manager:
Gardener who is serious about their savings

Salary:
A posh salad vegetable

Broker:
Unsuccessful investment

Bull market:
One that is not very good

Bear Market:
Where Paddington and Winnie The Pooh buy groceries

Banker:
Job title and cockney rhyming slang describing the job holder

Institutional Investor:
Financial trader specialising in care homes

Stock analyst:
Restaurant critic

Drop shipping:
Placard statement by air freight company

Time management:
How to display a collection of Rolex watches

Depression:
A sad hole into which everyone’s money disappears

Black Monday 1987:
Unsuccessful follow up to New Order’s Blue Monday

Fanny Mae:
But seldom does

Freddie Mac:
Aka Frederic the light brown overcoat

Millionaire:
Someone who aspires to be a billionaire

Billionaire:
Someone who never learnt to share as a child

Wall Street Crash:
Public safety announcement

Philanthropy:
The art of letting everyone know how much money you have given anonymously to charity

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